This Is How You Change Your Inner Voice from Critical to Kindness

May 24, 2021

by Katia

SElf LOVE, Manifestation hypnotherapist & mindset coach

By Katia

Success Shadows™ & Trauma-Informed Coach + Hypnotherapist.

I help leaders heal their Success Shadows™ & create their dream life and businesses.

But before we dive straight in, let me just tell you something;

To change anything in our lives, whether it is a health issue or a mindset issue, we need to first understand what we are dealing with on a root level and become aware of our inner voice when it is showing up in different situations in our lives.

That is the first step to change things if you are truly seeking to change your life.

But let me first start by saying…

I don’t know if you can relate.

But I used to be my own worst enemy! 

However, my mindset is 1000s miles different today compared to what it was to live inside my head just less than 2 years ago. 

I also want to emphasise that everything I talk about, share or guide you to, is something I’ve lived through!

So listen my love.. you ARE capable of getting to a much more peaceful place within yourself. 

So let’s first get to understand two very important things:

  1. What the inner voice is

2. How we can become aware of our inner voice

What is the inner voice?

First of all, don’t get too hung up on the wording of “inner voice”.

Your inner voice has many meanings, so if you feel more drawn to calling it your intuition, a feeling, universal guidance or gut nudges telling you what is right or wrong, then stick to calling it that. 

But the best way I can describe to you what inner voice is by giving you the internal image of you being a car and your inner voice is the GPS attached to you.

Your inner GPS or inner voice, helps you know in what direction you should go, guiding you mostly in the direction of what is the right choices or decisions you should make in your life.

So if you ever have a gut feeling or a little voice saying inside you, that you should start exercising more or avoid interacting with certain people, then that is your GPS guiding you.

But essentially…

It’s entirely your own choice whether you decide to listen to it or ignore it.

But let me just say..

Rarely have I witnessed personally in my own life, that things go well for me when I choose to ignore my inner voice. 

But don’t be scared of this. 

The decisions you make for yourself, can always be changed and you can always choose to drive in another direction if you decide so (another car analogy there, but let’s go all the way now that we are here, right…)

How to become aware of your inner voice

So now that you understand what your inner voice is and for what purpose it serves you. 

I’m sure you’re wondering, how do I catch myself in it and become aware when my inner voice is guiding me?

Well, if you have ever found yourself in any type of trouble, negative situations, toxic relationships or just done what was expected of you instead of following your heart..

then that is usually when problems in your lives start to surface!

These problems can show up as a lot of (self)doubt, worries, anxiety, loneliness, you name it.

But also more external problems in form of arguments, procrastination, calling in sick on your job, cancelling plans or withdrawing yourself from whatever the specific situation is.

And gosh.. have I been there with you! 

I’ve ignored my intuition and inner voice so much, that I ended up in a very toxic relationship that later ended up with me having no home, no job, no belongings, no nothing and had to start from scratch with rebuilding my life from the ground and up.

So when I tell you, the importance of following your inner voice..

I don’t say it lightly.

I’m sure if you’ve been in a similar situation or you are currently finding yourself in one of the above examples, that all of these problems are making you feel a certain way.

And that is the key to becoming aware of your inner voice, by leaning into and making space to notice how you are feeling. 

Your feelings are the source behind your GPS and where you should go.

Never forget that.

Your feelings are how your body and your inner voice is communicating with you with what you need to do.

So what you should ask yourself is:

  1. Am I following my inner GPS in the direction of fear?


2. Am I following my inner GPS in the direction of love? 

Those are the only 2 questions you need to ask yourself to get a better sense of your feelings and what your inner voice is trying to communicate with you, so you can ultimately get the right support from it in difficult situations.

You will know the answer when you ask yourself these questions, trust me.

To follow your inner voice, you must follow your feelings.

But to make it even clearer, let me give you an example:

Let’s say you are standing in a situation, where you just got offered a job and everyone is telling you that you would be PERFECT for the job.

But deep inside, you crave something entirely different.

You know you need a job, but somehow you get the sense that this is not the perfect job for you.

In the first example, you are being told by outside forces what you should do.

But in the other example, you’re getting an internal feeling that something isn’t right about it for you.

So, what exactly are your feelings telling you in this example? 

Are you following fear by not wanting to disappoint your family, spouse or someone else, so you say yes to the job?

Or are you following love, and thereby your own heart by listening to your inner voice and saying no to the job?

Listening to your inner voice can be a tricky and difficult situation, especially if you are a people pleaser. 

But, you’ve got to ask yourself what is more important for you and start to practice listening more to your inner voice if you want to ultimately be free and be in tune with yourself. 

Tips to help you develop and trust your inner guidance (to a kinder support system)

So now that you understand how your inner voice communicates with you.

What do you do if you’re having a difficult time with it, or your inner voice is just constantly bringing you down?

This is the hardest part, I’m not going to lie.

Because you want to get to a point where you trust its guidance and follow your heart no doubt.

But sometimes your inner voice can also be programmed to speak to you in ways that are not supportive, and ultimately keep you from getting the guidance, no matter how hard you try to listen for its wisdom.

So let me help you out with how you can identify true inner wisdom (your kindness wisdom) from critical inner-talk. 

1. Understand the difference between inner voice and critical-self talk

Inner guidance and support, as said earlier, will always always always tell you what the right thing is to do!

But if there is at any point that you have a thought from your inner voice, that does NOT make you FEEL good or would DO you good (whether it is your voice or from someone else) this is a vital sign that your inner critic is trying to keep you small, stuck or safe.

But also understand that having an inner critic is a part of you as a human being!

Being critical of things and questioning things is a part of who you are and it does not always mean something “bad” to have an inner critic.

It can support you – as long as it’s under the right circumstances

So my best tip to distinguish between just your humanness or if it is a way to keep you stuck, is to ask yourself: 

Will this thought, choice or guidance, support me?

If it doesn’t make you feel good or doesn’t help and support you, then you know that you need to let it go and it’s just you being critical of yourself.

But if it is just your humanness, then thank it for showing up, but let it know that you are safe to grow and expand in your life and do what is right for you.

2. Sit still and let your inner voice speak to you

The next step after understanding the difference between your inner kinder guidance and your inner critic is to be still and listen to it any time during your day.

All you need is to find a quiet space (especially if you’re in a difficult situation) and sit with yourself and notice your emotions. 

Perhaps write down how you are feeling and any possible reason for why you could be feeling a certain way.

Or perhaps listen to hypnosis audios that can help you to connect better to that inner part of yourself.

Honestly.. the options are limitless for you.

And then trust that whatever comes to mind first is the right answer. (unless you are telling yourself you are a complete fuck-up.. because you are not. Humans make mistakes, but don’t take that on as your identity!)

3. Learn to trust your inner voice 

It can be really difficult as said, not to mention scary and confusing learning to trust what your inner voice is saying.

Sometimes it might say to you that you should do something pretty drastic, other times it’s as small as cleaning up your apartment.

But.. learning to trust its guidance will come with the more you listen and follow it.

Again, ask yourself.. with the guidance that comes..

  • is it supporting me?
  • Making you feel good?

If not, you already know what it is and what to do.

Also, know that this can take years to practice!

So don’t get discouraged if you’re not sure at the beginning of what it is saying to you, you have a hard time letting it lead you or still find it confusing if it’s your supportive voice or critical voice.

With time and practice, you’ll get better at differentiating between these and know when you listen to the inner critic (as said, it CAN be helpful) or when to listen to your inner guidance.

4. Get help to develop your inner voice or let go of inner unsupportive thoughts

Sometimes another set of eyes on your problems and thoughts is a really good idea.

Hiring a coach or a mentor or anyone you trust to help you see things from a different perspective or that you trust enough to open up about your thoughts and feelings 100% authentically to, can truly help you progress with this in lightyears!

(Ok, maybe not that quick, but you get what I’m saying)

But, just be careful who you do share it with and be sure that these people have the best interest in their heart for you.

But if you do find such a trustworthy person..

This is probably one of the best things you can do for yourself if you feel overwhelmed, confused about what the right thing is to do for you, you’re not sure when to listen to what or just need more support in developing this inner guidance. 

A coach will often be able to identify exactly where your feelings and thoughts are coming from and when it is supportive or when it isn’t, so this could be a really valuable thing to do for yourself.

I hope by now you have understood some things about yourself more deeply and things have come clearer.

Remember.. You can always reach out if you have more questions.

All my love,


Whether you have zero clues what your inner voice is, or you know your inner voice to be super loud and critical in your head or you would just love to know how you can get more guidance and get a kinder conversation inside your mind, this post will help you!

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