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What To Do If Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck In Your Business

June 16, 2021

by Katia

SElf LOVE, Manifestation hypnotherapist & mindset coach

By Katia

NLP, Life + Success, Hypnotherapist & Mindset Coach.

I help women heal through self-love to feel WORTHY and believe in themselves, so they can manifest their abundant reality!

There are some great points out there! 

But at the end of the day, do you walk away feeling better and that you could change your life and business around and get things moving? 

Well, it certainly wasn’t that way for me when I struggled the most with my self-doubt in my business.

I was exactly where you are, probably a little low on cash, desperate to get my business moving, yet struggled with self-doubt and tried figuring out all by myself so I could achieve my dreams.

But what I quickly discovered was that those blog posts on overcoming self-doubt weren’t helping me move on from it nor made me feel much better about myself.

To me, it felt like chasing freebies constantly in the blog world, where you think it’s the solution to your problem.

But in reality, once you’ve downloaded the freebie, it was kinda useless and was only made for getting you signed up onto their email list. 

Terrific…. For them!

But when you enter my world, whether it is in business or on my blog, you’ll get what you came to get.

So if you are still serious about overcoming self-doubt, then without further ado, read along!

pen, notepad, glasses, tea, hand

What causes self-doubt?

It’s impossible to truly change something if we first of all:

  • Do not care about the issue

Or

  • Aren’t aware of the issue and its impact

So I want to make sure that we start right and understand what exactly self-doubt is and where it shows up in your life, so you can see if any of this applies to you and your biz, so here are the three biggest causes of self-doubt:

Past experiences/childhood

Your subconscious mind stores everything that has ever happened to you, whether you remember it or not. 

This means that you have had a ton of experiences from early childhood that has shaped you into the person you are today, and sometimes these past experiences and inner child wounds are still present when you reach adulthood.

So if you at any point during your childhood learned from some sort of experiences that something was unsafe for you, you will still have that inner wound of feeling unsafe when you are presented with a similar experience in your adult life. 

So if you are having doubts about yourself and your potential, it’s likely due to an experience that happened to you in your childhood that needs healing.

Comparison 

They say that comparison is the thief of joy, and they are right. 

If you have ever launched an offer before and you hit a number that you were very pleased with.

But then start to compare your launch to other coaches’ launches that reached an even bigger number, you will in an instant not feel that great about how your launch went.

The thing is, there is no reason to compare yourself to anyone, whether by number, scales, looks or how far someone else has gone compared to you.

Because each and every one of us is on our unique journey, here to fulfil our unique destiny.

If you feel like you would like to hit the same goals others have, then know that it is already yours, because it is your DESIRE and whatever you desire IS meant for you and already on its way to you.

So stop comparing yourself to others, and start CELEBRATING their success and see it as an “If she can do it, I can too!”-moment.

Fear

Often the problem we think we have isn’t the problem at all and the same goes for doubting yourself.

Doubt is nothing but fear in disguise. 

Whether that is fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not being good enough. Honestly, the list goes on and only you will ultimately know what lies behind your doubts about yourself.

But understand that, once you figure out what lies behind your doubts (most likely another inner child wound) you can start to work on it and set yourself free from any part of your life that doesn’t believe you can have a successful business. 

woman, computer, overwhelm, office

Signs you are struggling with self-doubt

  • You struggle with procrastination (hello avoiding task and feeling unmotivated)
  • Low self-esteem (Hey there struggle-bus of putting yourself out there for the world to see you and your services)
  • Emotional outburst (One minute you are super excited about where you are going and your direction in business, but suddenly you start to feel overwhelmed and doubting if you could do it)
  • Anxiety (feeling anxious about the future and what will happen if you don’t start to believe in your capabilities, feelings of nervousness, worry, unease, restlessness, panic)
  • Difficulty making decisions (scared of making the wrong decision and possibly trying to seek guidance from what others would do, instead of listening to your intuition)

I’m sure you already know how self-doubt is affecting you specifically besides these signs, and it can feel like a burden on your shoulders. 

But despite these signs of it and what you experience specifically, there’s only ONE thing I want you to take away from this post above all, and that is:

To stop making yourself wrong for struggling with self-doubt!

Get rid of what is “right or wrong” when it comes to your internal feelings of starting your own business or facing whatever obstacles you encounter.

There is nothing wrong with you, for feeling the feelings that tons of others business owners before you have also felt. 

It is a part of your journey, and above all, it shows that you CARE so much about your dreams and the people you will help who come into your world.

So now that you have learned lesson one, let’s dive deeper into what else you can do to overcome self-doubt in your business.

checkmark, glasses, phone, coffee, pen

What to do when you are facing self-doubt in your business

Feel your feelings

I put this at the top of these suggestions because I know how little good it does to try to run away from your feelings. 

You should by all means when the doubts come creeping in sit with your feelings!

That is what feelings are meant to do for us:

To be felt, so we can get the guidance we need and act and work on whatever it is those feelings are telling us isn’t going well for us. 

So grab a journal, write down exactly what happened that made you suddenly sit with those feelings, and ask yourself:

  • What did you feel?
  • What are these feelings trying to tell me?
  • What can I do to soothe these feelings and myself?
  • What do I need to change in my life or pay extra attention to?

Avoid comparing yourself to others

We’ve already been in on this a little, but it deserves a second mention.

We are all guilty of it, but at the end of the day, it solely takes away our joy for our accomplishments, but even more importantly, it is a complete waste of your time.

The longer you spend time seeing what everyone else is doing and comparing your chapter 1 to chapter 20, the more unhappy you will feel with yourself and your business. 

Focus on yourself, what you need to do, what your dreams are, and go out and DO the damn thing. 

We haven’t all been given the same cards in life, so why would you compare yourself, when your path, purpose and destiny is uniquely yours?

Celebrate the little wins you have along the way and celebrate OTHERS who are on a SIMILAR journey to yours!

I swear, it will be a much sweeter celebration party you can all throw together if you’re genuinely happy for others’ success as if it were your own!

Work your way through your doubt

So I want to share with you a little secret I have found that works pretty damn well for me and my business whenever I experience feelings of doubt or wonder if I am doing the right thing.

At that is that:

  • Experiencing doubt can make you work even harder and achieve even greater things.

Dealing with self-doubt isn’t all that bad, as everyone makes it out to be. 

Surely, it can hold you back, but what I’ve noticed is that I always work a little harder and a little better when I turn those feelings into motivation.

When you turn those feelings of doubt into “NO! I’m going to prove to myself that I can do this!” You will soon realize that this is oftentimes when you do your BEST work.

YOU are always in charge of how you are feeling and what your reality is going to look like, so my secret is, that I don’t dwell on my feelings of doubt, I let them be my motivator to prove to myself that I can do whatever I set my mind to.

But listen, we all have those days where the words or the work just aren’t flowing through us, so if you need to have a bit of time away, then trust that. 

(For example, I usually write my blog posts on Tuesdays, but sometimes the words won’t flow through me before Wednesday and then I accept that, follow my intuition and switch my days around)

So do what YOU need to do, to make things work!

Remember your WHY

This one is my second “secret” to keep the motivation going. 

If you solely rely on your motivation to guide you the way, I can already say you won’t get very far with your business. 

That is the reason that your WHY is the most important thing to remember that will propel you forward, no matter WHAT!

If you don’t know your why, you will not be able to make the impact or the income you desire so much, because what would you be fighting for?

That is the question you need to ask yourself:

  • Why do I want to have a business – for what reasons?
  • What will this do for me, for society and the world if I succeeded?

This means, that if you do know your why, you just need to get back into the energetics and the feelings of what made you want to start your business in the first place.

Especially when things get tough, your WHY will pull you through.

Practice self-compassion

We are so good at being hard on ourselves and we are good at being our own hardest critics as well.

But by the end of the day, this doesn’t serve us.

You HAVE to feel worthy of your desires if you ever want to feel good about actually receiving your desires.

So what can you do in the hardest moments, to show yourself some compassion and some slack and stop being so hard on yourself?

Look at all the things you did and you had to go through, to get you to this point in your journey and look at how far you’ve come!

You are GOOD. 

You are on your way there and things are going to work out, so how do you want to feel on your way there? 

Critical of all the things you haven’t yet accomplished, or feeling like every day you are doing the best you can?

Trust yourself and your decisions

As a business owner, there are tons of decisions to make.

From hiring coaches, choosing a domain provider, choosing course platforms, what days you create content, what days you do client calls, what your brand name should be, doing reels or TikTok or both, and so many more decisions.

Not all decisions are equal, that’s a fact.

Just as much as sometimes our decisions in business don’t have the same timeframe.

Sometimes you need to make quick decisions, other times you can sit on a decision for weeks or months (and holding yourself back)

So it is important to learn to trust yourself on what you believe is the right choice for you.

Don’t get swept into thinking you need to do what everyone else is doing. Because you don’t. 

But you do need to make decisions if you want to have a thriving business.

And this is where it gets scary.

We fear making the wrong decision.

But listen, who are the CEO and the boss of your business? Yes, that’s you!

This means you have the incredible gift of always making decisions and changing them if something didn’t work.

If you fear something goes wrong based on your decision, oftentimes it isn’t as bad as we make in our heads, and if it is.. well, then you’ve learned a very important lesson that you know you won’t make the mistake of doing again.

Trust yourself and your intuition and then you will never make a wrong decision in your life and all self-doubt will be irrelevant.

Embrace the discomfort

To sit with our doubts, we need to embrace being uncomfortable. 

The more willing you are to be uncomfortable, the more you will also grow, and with growth comes self-development, which will help you become the version of yourself who no longer responds to self-doubt like she used to.

And do you know why?

Because she has sat with this discomfort so many times and done a lot of inner work, and now she has her own back and understands that self-doubt will never really go away.

But what we make self-doubt mean, is the winning question.

So make the self-doubt mean that you are growing each time it pops up, so you can do something about your self-doubt (feeling it, working through it, have compassion for yourself and so on) instead of letting it stand in your way.

Embracing the discomfort is the way forward in growth and your expansion and the more you lean into it, the less uncomfortable it will feel.

Stop seeking validation

Unless you are trying to validate a new offering in your business, the line pretty much stops around there of how much you should seek validation from other people.

Humans are naturally social creatures and therefore we have a strong desire to belong in a community and seek validation from our peers.

But if you are constantly looking up to others and their approval of what you do, believe or say, then you might face some problems.

It is a normal thing we do because we all want to be accepted, so to some extent, you can’t completely stop seeking validation.

But seek instead to create a balance between you validating yourself and getting validation from others for the right reasons.

The reasons being, that if you seek validation on your business, then you can by hearing your client’s experiences tweak things here and there until you’ve understood what needs to improve.

But seeking validation to find out whether you are good enough, lovable enough etc is where you should stop seeking validation from others, and instead, go in and learn to love yourself and seek that validation from within.

Because I promise you.. once you find that peace within, you won’t need others approval of who you are, what you say or how you run your business and self-doubt is more like a faded memory of the past.

_____________

I hope this guide was helpful in how you can overcome your feelings of self-doubt. 

Just know that it is a normal part of starting your business, but don’t let it control your whole life. You are stronger than your biggest doubts and you have immense potential and magic within you just waiting to be expressed!

I believe in you soo much and I know that if you read this far, it means that you are serious about your growth and that means you are onto some INCREDIBLE things!

If you feel called to share how self-doubt has prevented you in your business, or you have any questions you’d like me to elaborate on, then please share them below!

I’d love nothing more than to help and by sharing our true selves and struggles in business, we can feel less alone on this journey and hopefully heal and inspire each other to go out there and make an incredible impact in this world together!

We probably don’t know each other, but as we get to know each other, you’ll soon see that I approach your mindset and business a little differently. 

This means that if you are truly interested in overcoming self-doubt and imposter syndrome (How well do even the words there make you feel?) you’ll soon see that I am not going to give you yet another article out there about overcoming it in the same ways as everyone else.

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